Ordination Exams - Day 6

AAAAAARRRRGH!!

Pray for me, people. No, seriously...

Pray. For. Me.

Opening the Mailbag

I decided to step away from Lazarus for a bit to check my e-mail and noticed that many of you are writing to ask similar questions or make interesting collective observations, so I thought it might be a pleasant diversion in my day (and, perhaps yours, too!) if I take a few minutes to answer/respond to the more popular questions/comments hitting my inbox. Here we go...

Question 1: "Are you remembering to take care of yourself during ords?" (Interestingly, this question did not come from my mom, but I know she's thinking it.) Yes, I'm taking care of myself and doing fine. I'm getting plenty of sleep - I've even taken a nap or two - and I tossed a Lean Cuisine down my throat mere moments ago. I went to church yesterday and heard Matt preach. We will all be reading his books someday - he's very gifted. I had lunch with my fellow ord-taking friends the other day. No worries. It's all good.

Question 2: "Since it sounds like the people in the apartment above you are driving a moped across the living room every time they flush the toilet, does that make you reluctant to flush your own toilet and disturb the people below you?" Not at all. Actually, the space directly below my apartment is a laundry room, so I'm free to flush with reckless abandon.

Question 3: "How is 'life sans TV' working out for you?" Excellent question! Actually, the TV was turned on once, but only because the cable dude had to take it out of the box and plug it in when he was installing my cable/internet service. When I called to arrange service, I asked for basic cable (really, I didn't want any cable but you have to get the cable to get the 'net) but the special package for new subscribers was actually cheaper than basic cable. So for the next six months, I have eight bazillion channels that are currently sitting completely idle. That's right, I have HBO and Starz On Demand right at my fingertips, and I haven't turned them on ONCE! And frankly, I feel a little closer to heaven for it, thank you very much.

Time to get back to Lazarus. He's giving me "that look."

Ordination Exams - Day 3

I'm getting my sea legs under me again and feeling considerably less grumpy than I was at the end of Day 1. The first day of ords we took an exam on theology and another on worship and sacraments (three hours each). I will admit that my otherwise pleasant disposition had gone the way of the dinosaurs by evening. It wasn't that the questions on the exam were unfair or even unexpected, it's just a very exhausting experience to have your feet put to the fire for six solid hours.

Day 2 was much less taxing - three hours of polity. After we completed the polity exam we were given the assigned pericope for the exegetical exam. This year's selection...

John 11:17-44

I was as tickled as a girl can be about taking an exegetical ord! I had been hoping that the gods of the ordination exams would assign the resurrection of Lazarus, and they did! It's easily one of my favorite pericopes from any of the gospels. So even if I flunk the exam, I will have loved writing the paper.

So now I'm busy examining Greek grammatical constructs, imagery and literary forms. For the next five days it will be Lazarus and me, me and Lazarus. We'll be tight and inseparable even though King James keeps insisting that "he stinketh."

Let the games begin!

Ordination Exams - Day 1

...something something triune god of grace something something something whisperings of the holy spirit something something waters of baptism something something praying the daily office something sealed for service in the world something something justification something atoning work of the cross something something...

Bedtime Story

It isn't often that we get Kansas-sized thunderstorms in this part of Iowa, but over the past few days we've had them in spades. And while we do have to contend with unfortunate side-effects like flooding and groundwater contamination, after they've passed they always leave behind some fine, fine sleeping weather.

So last night I threw open all of the windows, made way for a cool breeze, and let the sounds of outdoors flood in through the windows. Except for the bed, the sheets, the pillows, four walls, a ceiling, and an occasional moped, it was just like camping. So much so that as I was climbing into bed I caught myself singing, "Give me land, lots of land, under starry skies above. Don't fence me in." I probably would have kept singing except that it interferred with the chirping of the crickets who are having their swan song (swan chirp?) before they go into hybernation for the winter. As long as they stay outside where they belong, I think crickets really are one of God's better inventions. They have a sleek design and a pleasant pitch, unlike locusts which are unbearably loud and ugly as sin. And crickets don't have a reason in the world to rub their legs together except to lull me to sleep at night. At least that's what I like to think. Humor me.

But mostly I'm glad that God gathers them up after they've been scattered by the thunderstorm and puts them back under my window where they can chirp to their hearts' content. I think that's really nice of Him.

Ordination Exam Prep

With just one day left to prepare before ordination exams, Dr. Vander Broek's best advice for passing the exegetical ord...

"Answer the question, dammit."

Question From the Peanut Gallery

A few of you have e-mailed to inform me that you know nothing about this apartment of which I speak. THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason for the blog! Never again will you feel like you have an insufficient number of details about the mundane events of my life!

For those of you who aren't "in the know"...

I decided to move into an apartment this semester (and every semester until I graduate. Or the rapture. Whichever comes first.) I made the decision to forgo the seminary townhouse when I realized that for the same amount of money I could buy myself three less roommates. What a bargain!

Anyhoo, the new place is just dandy. Stop by and visit anytime. But if you want to drive across the living room, you have to bring your own moped.

Royal Flush

I have observed that whenever the people who live in the apartment above me flush the toilet it sounds like they're driving a moped through their living room.

It seems very unnatural somehow. And slightly alarming.

Greetings from Iowa...

...where today's weather forecast calls for rain and a high temperature of - get this - 62 degrees. Yes, really. It's cold in Iowa. What are the odds?

I cruised into town late Thursday afternoon all set for a very long evening of moving into my apartment. However, when I arrived I discovered that all of my belongings had already been mysteriously moved out of storage and were waiting in my apartment for me! How, you ask? Because I have the BEST friends in the whole WORLD! (A big shout out to Matt and Krista!) Thank God for friends who love you enough to be trusted with your apartment keys.

So I'm getting settled into my apartment and I've consumed the ceremonial "first bratwurst" of the new academic year (grilled by the same best friends who hooked up my crib!). I've started cracking the books and plowing through commentaries in preparation for next week's ordination exams. But my biggest achievement so far: I'm on my third day in Iowa and I still haven't plugged in my TV. I'm gonna see how long I can make that last. Feel free to form grids and place bets, call your bookie to get the "over/under."

Stay tuned...