So get this...
Yesterday the Hebrew professor never showed up for class because her alarm didn't go off. And now we've received word that tomorrow's Hebrew class has been cancelled. Why? Don't know, don't care. All I know is that I get an entire week of reprieve from Hebrew class!! God loves me! He really, REALLY loves me!!
So tomorrow morning, instead of considering the subtle art of Hebrew vowel pointing, I'll be wallowing about in the pages of the dust book. And the next chapter starts with a discussion of dust in the preindustrial world followed by its relationship to the dust of the European peasants in the Middle Ages. I'm all a-quiver with anticipation!!
Shalom! (That's my tip-of-the-hat to Hebrew for the week.)
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
A Fascinating Moment of Self-Discovery
I had a watershed moment of personal revelation last night. I realized that I had reached an entirely new level of uber nerditude when I started reading a book about the history of dust - just for the fun of it! Furthermore, I'm finding it FASCINATING! Now bear with me for a moment, kids...
How can dust not inspire a certain amount of whimsey? After all, common house dust is a mixture of dead insect parts, flakes of human skin, shreds of fabric, pollen, molds, and (my personal favorite) excrement. And I know that at this very moment you're probably thinking, "Dawn, shouldn't you be studying Hebrew instead?" Of course I should. But dust is so much more understandable! Unlike Hebrew, excrement is a concept that I actually GET! And just think of the theological component; every year on Ash Wednesday we usher in Lent by proclaiming, "You are dust, and to dust you shall return." What could squelch your nasty pride more than having your minister tell you that you're just a massive pile of poo and that's all you'll ever be? (And a note to every minister I've ever had: you can wipe that smirk off your face because I've been told by tons people other than you that I'm full of doodie. You are NOT original.)
So be prepared - until I'm finished with this little leisure read, I'm going to be polluting you with endless factoids about dust. If any of them help you win a trivia contest, I expect a Christmas card. And if any of you want to read along/get neridified with me, you can order the book on Amazon (Joseph A. Amato is the author). Come on over to the dark side - it's nice in here.
One final morsel for you smokers in the peanut gallery: a single puff of a cigarette produces 4 billion particles of dust. So just say no, kids.
How can dust not inspire a certain amount of whimsey? After all, common house dust is a mixture of dead insect parts, flakes of human skin, shreds of fabric, pollen, molds, and (my personal favorite) excrement. And I know that at this very moment you're probably thinking, "Dawn, shouldn't you be studying Hebrew instead?" Of course I should. But dust is so much more understandable! Unlike Hebrew, excrement is a concept that I actually GET! And just think of the theological component; every year on Ash Wednesday we usher in Lent by proclaiming, "You are dust, and to dust you shall return." What could squelch your nasty pride more than having your minister tell you that you're just a massive pile of poo and that's all you'll ever be? (And a note to every minister I've ever had: you can wipe that smirk off your face because I've been told by tons people other than you that I'm full of doodie. You are NOT original.)
So be prepared - until I'm finished with this little leisure read, I'm going to be polluting you with endless factoids about dust. If any of them help you win a trivia contest, I expect a Christmas card. And if any of you want to read along/get neridified with me, you can order the book on Amazon (Joseph A. Amato is the author). Come on over to the dark side - it's nice in here.
One final morsel for you smokers in the peanut gallery: a single puff of a cigarette produces 4 billion particles of dust. So just say no, kids.
Monday, October 8, 2007
An Inexcusably Overdue Perusal of the Mailbag
You see, the thing is, I had a big Hebrew test at the end of last week. And since the test was worth 20% of my total grade and the blog is worth (sadly) 0% of my grade, the blog went on temporary hiatus. But that means that I have TONS of mail to answer now, so I hope you have a refreshing beverage in hand 'cause baby got blog! Let's hit it...
Question 1: "So did you end up passing your ordination exams or what?" I dunno. We get our raw results (pass/fail data only) on October 22, then we get our papers with critiques returned about a week or two after that. But don't worry - I'll let you know. Unless, of course, I totally stunk it up, in which case I probably won't tell you that I stunk it up; you'll just have to put two-and-two together when January rolls around and I start posting grumpy messages about having to take ords again.
Question 2: (From countless readers) "When you titled one of your posts 'Engagement Announcement' we thought it was going to say that YOU were getting married again." To everyone who sent me this message...y'all are seriously smoking copious, COPIOUS amounts of crack. I mean really.
Question 3: "Were you really considering putting superglue in your nose to cure your cold?" Ummm...no.
Question 4: "Are you going to continue testing Oprah's suggestions for saving the world?" Sure, but you have to be patient. I've had the new issue of the Oprah magazine for over a week now but haven't had a chance to evaluate this month's suggestions yet (on account of Hebrew, you understand). But it keeps me amused and arms me with interesting blog fodder. Plus, it gives me an excuse to wear my cape.
Question 5: "Why don't you ever post pictures on your blog? It would be fun to see your friends/home/school/fill-in-the-blank." Oh for Pete's sake. I'll see what I can do.
But for now, I'm going to hit the sack. It's good to be back among the cyber-living! Thanks for hanging in there with me.
Question 1: "So did you end up passing your ordination exams or what?" I dunno. We get our raw results (pass/fail data only) on October 22, then we get our papers with critiques returned about a week or two after that. But don't worry - I'll let you know. Unless, of course, I totally stunk it up, in which case I probably won't tell you that I stunk it up; you'll just have to put two-and-two together when January rolls around and I start posting grumpy messages about having to take ords again.
Question 2: (From countless readers) "When you titled one of your posts 'Engagement Announcement' we thought it was going to say that YOU were getting married again." To everyone who sent me this message...y'all are seriously smoking copious, COPIOUS amounts of crack. I mean really.
Question 3: "Were you really considering putting superglue in your nose to cure your cold?" Ummm...no.
Question 4: "Are you going to continue testing Oprah's suggestions for saving the world?" Sure, but you have to be patient. I've had the new issue of the Oprah magazine for over a week now but haven't had a chance to evaluate this month's suggestions yet (on account of Hebrew, you understand). But it keeps me amused and arms me with interesting blog fodder. Plus, it gives me an excuse to wear my cape.
Question 5: "Why don't you ever post pictures on your blog? It would be fun to see your friends/home/school/fill-in-the-blank." Oh for Pete's sake. I'll see what I can do.
But for now, I'm going to hit the sack. It's good to be back among the cyber-living! Thanks for hanging in there with me.
Thursday, September 27, 2007
A funny thing happened on the way to saving the world...
As all of you faithful readers know, I have been embarking on an Oprah-inspired mission to save the world by writing a letter to someone each day for a month. Let me tell you how things were going at the half-way point in the project: stinky. Really stinky. Like, limburger stinky. You see, one of the criteria was that each letter should be sent to someone who wasn't expecting to hear from me, so I wrote letters to missionary friends I haven't spoken to in way too long, friends who (sadly) had to drop out of seminary because of particular hardships in their lives, people I used to work with who had been facing challenging times when we last spoke, etc. Writing the letters was no problem, but then they started reappearing in my mailbox - shocking amounts of them - stamped with messages like, "address unknown" or "forwarding expired" or some other cryptic postal euphamism for "you've-allowed-these-people-to-drop-out-of-your-life-and-now-you'll-never-find-them-again". So many were returned that I was becoming a bit dispondent about it. Cut to the chase: I quit writing the letters.
But then yesterday as I was rifling through my mail, I discovered a letter from someone I've never met before. In her note she told me that she is the daughter of a very good friend and she thought, perhaps, that I would like to know that she is praying for me. This simple note from someone I've never met was very dear and immensely encouraging and completely, completely unexpected.
And it changed my world.
But then yesterday as I was rifling through my mail, I discovered a letter from someone I've never met before. In her note she told me that she is the daughter of a very good friend and she thought, perhaps, that I would like to know that she is praying for me. This simple note from someone I've never met was very dear and immensely encouraging and completely, completely unexpected.
And it changed my world.
Thursday, September 20, 2007
*Sniff*
I hab a cold in by dose. Bummer. Yesterday I suspected that I was coming down with a cold, but when I woke up at 2:30 this morning, all doubt was removed. So I'm sniffling and sneezing my way through the day and I'm actually pleased for the timing. My body usually waits until the inconvenience of finals week to cash in all of its "sick cards", so a mid-September cold is rather fortuitous.
The superglue did such a dandy job of fixing my thumbnail that I thought I might try the same remedy for my cold. But then I saw that the tube advised against internal use which made absolutely no sense to me since veterinarians use the stuff to perform surgery all the time. I think maybe they're in cahoots with the pharmaceutical lobby.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could solve all of our problems with a $2.00 tube of superglue?
The superglue did such a dandy job of fixing my thumbnail that I thought I might try the same remedy for my cold. But then I saw that the tube advised against internal use which made absolutely no sense to me since veterinarians use the stuff to perform surgery all the time. I think maybe they're in cahoots with the pharmaceutical lobby.
Wouldn't it be nice if we could solve all of our problems with a $2.00 tube of superglue?
Tuesday, September 18, 2007
Engagement Announcement
For all of you fellow seminarians and recent UDTS alums, Tony Oltmann is getting married! He called me yesterday to share the happy news and asked me to pass along his joy and excitment to all of you since he can't figure out how to find any of you anymore (he's still Tony, after all). It seemed the most expedient way to share the announcement was to blog it. So here it is, in my own little homage to craigslist.com (dawnslist?) - a public proclamation for all the world to hear!
Tony and Kristin will be getting married on February 16 somewhere in Minnesota - he told me exactly where but I was cruising down the interstate at 75 mph when he called, so I failed to write down the particulars. If you want more details, drop me a line and I'll let you know how to hook up with Tony again.
Tony and Kristin will be getting married on February 16 somewhere in Minnesota - he told me exactly where but I was cruising down the interstate at 75 mph when he called, so I failed to write down the particulars. If you want more details, drop me a line and I'll let you know how to hook up with Tony again.
Sunday, September 16, 2007
Caught Up In Evel
I almost missed church this morning and it was totally Evel Knievel's fault. As I was getting ready for church, I glanced up at the TV (yes, I was watching TV on Sunday morning) and saw that Evel was hanging out with Robert Schuller at the Crystal Cathedral. Who could argue that such an eclectic mix makes for some compelling viewing? So I turned up the volume in time to hear Evel give his personal testimony - turns out he found Jesus a couple of weeks ago - and get baptized by the good Dr. Schuller. It was actually kind of a nice little thing.
BUT THEN...
On the heels of Evel's baptism (that has an interesting ring, no? Evel's baptism?) the junior Schuller invited EVERYBODY in the Crystal Cathedral who wanted to get baptized to come forward for this huge, sweeping, on-the-spot mass baptism. No questions asked, no discussion of personal faith, no counseling, didn't even matter if they had already been baptized previously. I nearly fell out of my chair! But I mustered up all of my most decent Presbyterian sensibilities and pulled myself together.
UNTIL...
After baptizing hundreds (yes, hundreds) of people totally on-the-spot, the junior Schuller decided that the baptisms were enough of a church service for the day, so he didn't need to give a sermon after all. I talked to the TV in my sternest voice giving it my most grave liturgical advice; "No, you can't end the service like this. If you're going to baptize hundreds of people totally anonymously, you at least have to give a sermon. You're a minister of word and sacrament, not just sacrament! For the love of everything holy, GIVE THE SERMON!!" Alas, he simply shed a few weepy tears of joy and ended the service. At that point my head completely popped off my body and rolled around on the floor.
Sundays: not just for armchair quarterbacks.
BUT THEN...
On the heels of Evel's baptism (that has an interesting ring, no? Evel's baptism?) the junior Schuller invited EVERYBODY in the Crystal Cathedral who wanted to get baptized to come forward for this huge, sweeping, on-the-spot mass baptism. No questions asked, no discussion of personal faith, no counseling, didn't even matter if they had already been baptized previously. I nearly fell out of my chair! But I mustered up all of my most decent Presbyterian sensibilities and pulled myself together.
UNTIL...
After baptizing hundreds (yes, hundreds) of people totally on-the-spot, the junior Schuller decided that the baptisms were enough of a church service for the day, so he didn't need to give a sermon after all. I talked to the TV in my sternest voice giving it my most grave liturgical advice; "No, you can't end the service like this. If you're going to baptize hundreds of people totally anonymously, you at least have to give a sermon. You're a minister of word and sacrament, not just sacrament! For the love of everything holy, GIVE THE SERMON!!" Alas, he simply shed a few weepy tears of joy and ended the service. At that point my head completely popped off my body and rolled around on the floor.
Sundays: not just for armchair quarterbacks.
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Drop Numero Dos
So I dropped my second class today, and no, it wasn't Hebrew (nuts on it all anyway). I dropped another elective. The thing is, I always register for way too many electives and then end up having to drop some of them after the syllabus hits my hand and the reality of expectation sets in, but I just can't help myself. Each semester, when the new schedule of classes comes off the printer, I'm like a kid in a candy store! All of those shiny new classes are just calling my name! And if I take the classes, I get to buy more BOOKS to add to the bookshelf! And what could be better than that?? New books with pretty pages and interesting thoughts just waiting to be thunk! The theology of St. Augustine? Sign me up! Models of prayer in the ancient church? Schwell! Who could possibly resist??
Now don't y'all start e-mailing me to tell me how pathetic I am. I already KNOW how pathetic I am! I'm a HUGE FREAKING NERD!! I'm a HUGE FREAKING NON-HEBREW SPEAKING NERD! I like to think that it's part of my charm, but mostly I think it's just a sad, sad cry for help and I'm actually in dire need of a twelve-step program.
And the worst part is that since I have now dropped two classes but still have more than enough hours to qualify as a full-time student, I have to tell mom that she was right and I was wrong - I was taking way too many hours. So happy birthday again, mom.
Now don't y'all start e-mailing me to tell me how pathetic I am. I already KNOW how pathetic I am! I'm a HUGE FREAKING NERD!! I'm a HUGE FREAKING NON-HEBREW SPEAKING NERD! I like to think that it's part of my charm, but mostly I think it's just a sad, sad cry for help and I'm actually in dire need of a twelve-step program.
And the worst part is that since I have now dropped two classes but still have more than enough hours to qualify as a full-time student, I have to tell mom that she was right and I was wrong - I was taking way too many hours. So happy birthday again, mom.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Meshugana Hebrew!!
It's a good thing my give-a-crapper broke on the first day of the semester or Hebrew would have me ulcerated eight ways from Sunday by now.
Stupid Hebrew. Stupid, stooopid Hebrew.
Stupid Hebrew. Stupid, stooopid Hebrew.
Sunday, September 9, 2007
The Weekly Mailbag
As many of you have noticed, I'm running a day late (thanks for keeping me honest) so let's just hit the ground running and get to reader e-mails without further delay.
Question 1: "I noticed that the time stamp on your September 7 entry was 6:35 a.m. Are you really blogging at 6:30 in the morning?" In that particular case, no. The blogger software automatically time stamps my entries, much like when you send an e-mail. But about two weeks ago I noticed that the time stamps are never correct, nor are they ever off by the same amount or even in the same direction (early or late). I thought about resetting the dashboard to see if it would clear the bug out of the system, but then it seemed both more prudent and more amusing to me to keep y'all guessing about the hours I'm keeping.
Question 2: "Are you sorry you caved after two weeks and went back to watching TV?" First of all, it was two weeks and two days, thank you very much. I know our salvation isn't dependent on "works righteousness", but just in case the Apostle Paul is wrong, I want to make sure I have those two extra days on my record. No, I don't regret my return to television, but I also don't regret my time away from television. The truth is, a girl with even a moderate amount of ingenuity (i.e., me) can find countless ways to waste time even without the assistance of television (browsing Pottery Barn catalogs, smelling all the different flavors of coffee beans at the HyVee, putting new bookplates in all my books - cripes, I'm such a nerd). TV is just the path of least resistance; plus, it helps me keep up on my pop culture references. However, I find that I'm now much more intentional about what I watch. I never have the TV on just for the sake of having it on, nor do I turn it on and surf the channels. I look at the TV listings, see if there is something I actually want to watch, then turn on the TV.
Question 3: "Are you really writing letters every day?" Well, as you may have heard, I had to take an injury time out. While the thumb is coming along nicely, I had to suspend all non-essential writing and typing commitments for several days - in other words, everything but signing my name to a receipt. So I asked the officials to restart the game clock yesterday and got back down to business. My apologies for having to delay the saving of the world for a few days. Boy will my face be red if Jesus comes back before I've written all 30 letters.
Question 4: "How's Hebrew class going?" I have two words for you: oy vey.
Okay, the little clock on the wall says that it's time for Iron Chef America which I ALWAYS choose to watch! (Hooray for TV!) Time for me to jet so I can go spend the next hour of my life with Mario Batali. Have a super swell week, everyone!
Question 1: "I noticed that the time stamp on your September 7 entry was 6:35 a.m. Are you really blogging at 6:30 in the morning?" In that particular case, no. The blogger software automatically time stamps my entries, much like when you send an e-mail. But about two weeks ago I noticed that the time stamps are never correct, nor are they ever off by the same amount or even in the same direction (early or late). I thought about resetting the dashboard to see if it would clear the bug out of the system, but then it seemed both more prudent and more amusing to me to keep y'all guessing about the hours I'm keeping.
Question 2: "Are you sorry you caved after two weeks and went back to watching TV?" First of all, it was two weeks and two days, thank you very much. I know our salvation isn't dependent on "works righteousness", but just in case the Apostle Paul is wrong, I want to make sure I have those two extra days on my record. No, I don't regret my return to television, but I also don't regret my time away from television. The truth is, a girl with even a moderate amount of ingenuity (i.e., me) can find countless ways to waste time even without the assistance of television (browsing Pottery Barn catalogs, smelling all the different flavors of coffee beans at the HyVee, putting new bookplates in all my books - cripes, I'm such a nerd). TV is just the path of least resistance; plus, it helps me keep up on my pop culture references. However, I find that I'm now much more intentional about what I watch. I never have the TV on just for the sake of having it on, nor do I turn it on and surf the channels. I look at the TV listings, see if there is something I actually want to watch, then turn on the TV.
Question 3: "Are you really writing letters every day?" Well, as you may have heard, I had to take an injury time out. While the thumb is coming along nicely, I had to suspend all non-essential writing and typing commitments for several days - in other words, everything but signing my name to a receipt. So I asked the officials to restart the game clock yesterday and got back down to business. My apologies for having to delay the saving of the world for a few days. Boy will my face be red if Jesus comes back before I've written all 30 letters.
Question 4: "How's Hebrew class going?" I have two words for you: oy vey.
Okay, the little clock on the wall says that it's time for Iron Chef America which I ALWAYS choose to watch! (Hooray for TV!) Time for me to jet so I can go spend the next hour of my life with Mario Batali. Have a super swell week, everyone!
Friday, September 7, 2007
Injury Time Out
Sorry for being MIA for the past two days, but as the subject line states, I had to take an injury time out. Indeed, I have suffered the first critical injury of the season. It all started like this...
We were having a seminary picnic Wednesday night (brats, dogs, frisbees - thrown, not eaten), and I'm not sure exactly how it happened except to say that it involved a cooler, a frozen block of ice, and a bottle of water, but I ripped off the top half of my thumbnail. Not entirely, mind you - it was still holding on at the edge - but the carnage was great enough to cause the four guys who were standing by me to fold like cheap suits. Bummer, eh? I wanted to snap a picture of it to post on the blog, but nobody would look at it long enough to take the picture (what a bunch of babies!), and my spare hand was occupied with containing the river of blood that was pouring from the end of my thumb. Still, that would have been COOL!
Anyhoo...we got a bottle of superglue and epoxied the nail back in place. Yes, it stung like a bear and I used all of my least pretty words, but now it's nearly right as rain! I have to say, I'm very impressed by the restorative properties of my thumb. So I will not be going on the injured reserve list - I just needed to take an injury time out followed by the mandatory one-play stint on the sidelines. But I'm back in the game now. It's all good.
So come back tomorrow and we'll open this week's mailbag.
We were having a seminary picnic Wednesday night (brats, dogs, frisbees - thrown, not eaten), and I'm not sure exactly how it happened except to say that it involved a cooler, a frozen block of ice, and a bottle of water, but I ripped off the top half of my thumbnail. Not entirely, mind you - it was still holding on at the edge - but the carnage was great enough to cause the four guys who were standing by me to fold like cheap suits. Bummer, eh? I wanted to snap a picture of it to post on the blog, but nobody would look at it long enough to take the picture (what a bunch of babies!), and my spare hand was occupied with containing the river of blood that was pouring from the end of my thumb. Still, that would have been COOL!
Anyhoo...we got a bottle of superglue and epoxied the nail back in place. Yes, it stung like a bear and I used all of my least pretty words, but now it's nearly right as rain! I have to say, I'm very impressed by the restorative properties of my thumb. So I will not be going on the injured reserve list - I just needed to take an injury time out followed by the mandatory one-play stint on the sidelines. But I'm back in the game now. It's all good.
So come back tomorrow and we'll open this week's mailbag.
Tuesday, September 4, 2007
The Semester Begins
Today was the first day of the semester and I decided to hit the ground running by dropping a class before I ever walked through the door. In the past I've noticed that there comes a point in each semester when my academic give-a-crapper breaks and I decide that the classes and the books aren't nearly as important to me as having coffee with friends or getting caught up in the dramatic competition of Iron Chef America. However, this is the first time my give-a-crapper has ever broken on the first day of the semester. Now, I could brood about this new development and the prospects that it might hold for the remainder of my semester, but instead I've decided to embrace this proactive turn of events and see where it leads me. That's right - this is a good thing! That's my story and I'm sticking to it.
Besides, it will come as very welcome news to my mom who has told me many, many times during the past several days that I'm taking entirely too many hours. Happy birthday, mom.
Besides, it will come as very welcome news to my mom who has told me many, many times during the past several days that I'm taking entirely too many hours. Happy birthday, mom.
Monday, September 3, 2007
Because I had nothing better to do...
This weekend I found myself in an extremely rare situation - with ords behind me and classes not yet started, I had three days with absolutely no obligations hanging over me. No reading that had to get done, no papers to write, no sermons to preach, nothing. So since I had nothing better to do, I decided I might as well save the world.
So I pulled out the latest issue of the Oprah magazine (that's right, I'm about to go all "Oprah says..." on you) because every month she includes a column of suggestions for saving the world that have been collected from people who apparently ought to know a thing or two about it - generally notable authors, activists, nobel laureates and the like. It seemed like an interesting hobby to take a few of them out for a road test and share my observations and opinions about them with all of you. So I put on my bullet-deflecting bracelets and my cape and got down to business.
(Before all y'all go e-mailing me, I KNOW Wonder Woman doesn't wear a cape. I just think it adds a certain panache to the ensemble.)
The first world-saving suggestion came from an environmental activist who claimed the trick was to purchase "green energy" credits for renewable energy sources from your gas/electric provider. Yeah, I don't really know what that means either, but I grabbed my trusty laptop and surfed out to Alliant Energy to sign up. Except for knowing that each month I will have an additional $2.50 green energy charge on my bill, after two days the world still seemed mostly the same to me. So I decided to move on to the next item on the list.
The next world saver was submitted by Jane Fonda (I'm as puzzled about her credentials as you are) who said that we all need to help our boys become emotionally literate. Well that confused me even more than the green energy credits, so I decided to leave the boys to their own devices and move on to the next item.
The third world saver was submitted by a children's author who believes that we can save the world by writing a letter to someone each day. I'm not sure exactly how it's suppose to save the world, but I decided that it's a task that I can tackle for the next 30 days. So I've armed myself with postage stamps and some of the finest stationery Target has to offer and will write a note to somebody each day for the next 30 days, then we'll see what kind of shape the world is in a month from now and draw our conclusions from there.
So if you receive and unexpected note from me, don't wonder about my motives. I'm just saving the world is all. I don't expect anything from you. But if it should turn out that the note does, in fact, change your world somehow, it would be super swell if you would drop me a quick e-mail or "blaze me up on the celly" to let me know. You don't even have to tell me how it changed your world - just let me know how to tally it in the results column.
I hope your holiday weekend was as thought-provoking as mine!
So I pulled out the latest issue of the Oprah magazine (that's right, I'm about to go all "Oprah says..." on you) because every month she includes a column of suggestions for saving the world that have been collected from people who apparently ought to know a thing or two about it - generally notable authors, activists, nobel laureates and the like. It seemed like an interesting hobby to take a few of them out for a road test and share my observations and opinions about them with all of you. So I put on my bullet-deflecting bracelets and my cape and got down to business.
(Before all y'all go e-mailing me, I KNOW Wonder Woman doesn't wear a cape. I just think it adds a certain panache to the ensemble.)
The first world-saving suggestion came from an environmental activist who claimed the trick was to purchase "green energy" credits for renewable energy sources from your gas/electric provider. Yeah, I don't really know what that means either, but I grabbed my trusty laptop and surfed out to Alliant Energy to sign up. Except for knowing that each month I will have an additional $2.50 green energy charge on my bill, after two days the world still seemed mostly the same to me. So I decided to move on to the next item on the list.
The next world saver was submitted by Jane Fonda (I'm as puzzled about her credentials as you are) who said that we all need to help our boys become emotionally literate. Well that confused me even more than the green energy credits, so I decided to leave the boys to their own devices and move on to the next item.
The third world saver was submitted by a children's author who believes that we can save the world by writing a letter to someone each day. I'm not sure exactly how it's suppose to save the world, but I decided that it's a task that I can tackle for the next 30 days. So I've armed myself with postage stamps and some of the finest stationery Target has to offer and will write a note to somebody each day for the next 30 days, then we'll see what kind of shape the world is in a month from now and draw our conclusions from there.
So if you receive and unexpected note from me, don't wonder about my motives. I'm just saving the world is all. I don't expect anything from you. But if it should turn out that the note does, in fact, change your world somehow, it would be super swell if you would drop me a quick e-mail or "blaze me up on the celly" to let me know. You don't even have to tell me how it changed your world - just let me know how to tally it in the results column.
I hope your holiday weekend was as thought-provoking as mine!
Saturday, September 1, 2007
Ordination Exams - The Epilogue
First, y'all are some serious worriers. I really didn't expect so many people to think that my three day absence from blogging was a certain sign that I had met an untimely demise. But it's nice to know that you care so much in an odd, stalker sort-of way.
I turned in my exegetical exam paper on Thursday. It really went down to the wire and I turned it in at the last possible minute. Several of my test-taking cohorts were leaving the office as I showed up with paper in hand. When they saw me hoofing it toward the door, they all looked at their watches and said, "Geez, Dawn, you're cutting it awfully close." To which I could only respond, "MOOOOOVE!!!" Turns out, if this whole ordination thing doesn't work out for me, I might have a very promising career as a linebacker. Anyway, the exam is off to be reviewed by a committee of readers. God speed, little paper. God speed.
As a result of that experience, for the past three days I haven't written so much as a check; hence the absence from the blog. But I'm alive and well and back to blogging like a house on fire.
Oh, one more thing...
As a special treat to myself for finishing the paper, on Thursday night I laid in bed and watched The Daily Show and The Colbert Report before drifting off to a peaceful slumber. So those of you who wagered that Dawn would last 16 days without television, you're in the money!
I turned in my exegetical exam paper on Thursday. It really went down to the wire and I turned it in at the last possible minute. Several of my test-taking cohorts were leaving the office as I showed up with paper in hand. When they saw me hoofing it toward the door, they all looked at their watches and said, "Geez, Dawn, you're cutting it awfully close." To which I could only respond, "MOOOOOVE!!!" Turns out, if this whole ordination thing doesn't work out for me, I might have a very promising career as a linebacker. Anyway, the exam is off to be reviewed by a committee of readers. God speed, little paper. God speed.
As a result of that experience, for the past three days I haven't written so much as a check; hence the absence from the blog. But I'm alive and well and back to blogging like a house on fire.
Oh, one more thing...
As a special treat to myself for finishing the paper, on Thursday night I laid in bed and watched The Daily Show and The Colbert Report before drifting off to a peaceful slumber. So those of you who wagered that Dawn would last 16 days without television, you're in the money!
Wednesday, August 29, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
Opening the Mailbag
I decided to step away from Lazarus for a bit to check my e-mail and noticed that many of you are writing to ask similar questions or make interesting collective observations, so I thought it might be a pleasant diversion in my day (and, perhaps yours, too!) if I take a few minutes to answer/respond to the more popular questions/comments hitting my inbox. Here we go...
Question 1: "Are you remembering to take care of yourself during ords?" (Interestingly, this question did not come from my mom, but I know she's thinking it.) Yes, I'm taking care of myself and doing fine. I'm getting plenty of sleep - I've even taken a nap or two - and I tossed a Lean Cuisine down my throat mere moments ago. I went to church yesterday and heard Matt preach. We will all be reading his books someday - he's very gifted. I had lunch with my fellow ord-taking friends the other day. No worries. It's all good.
Question 2: "Since it sounds like the people in the apartment above you are driving a moped across the living room every time they flush the toilet, does that make you reluctant to flush your own toilet and disturb the people below you?" Not at all. Actually, the space directly below my apartment is a laundry room, so I'm free to flush with reckless abandon.
Question 3: "How is 'life sans TV' working out for you?" Excellent question! Actually, the TV was turned on once, but only because the cable dude had to take it out of the box and plug it in when he was installing my cable/internet service. When I called to arrange service, I asked for basic cable (really, I didn't want any cable but you have to get the cable to get the 'net) but the special package for new subscribers was actually cheaper than basic cable. So for the next six months, I have eight bazillion channels that are currently sitting completely idle. That's right, I have HBO and Starz On Demand right at my fingertips, and I haven't turned them on ONCE! And frankly, I feel a little closer to heaven for it, thank you very much.
Time to get back to Lazarus. He's giving me "that look."
Question 1: "Are you remembering to take care of yourself during ords?" (Interestingly, this question did not come from my mom, but I know she's thinking it.) Yes, I'm taking care of myself and doing fine. I'm getting plenty of sleep - I've even taken a nap or two - and I tossed a Lean Cuisine down my throat mere moments ago. I went to church yesterday and heard Matt preach. We will all be reading his books someday - he's very gifted. I had lunch with my fellow ord-taking friends the other day. No worries. It's all good.
Question 2: "Since it sounds like the people in the apartment above you are driving a moped across the living room every time they flush the toilet, does that make you reluctant to flush your own toilet and disturb the people below you?" Not at all. Actually, the space directly below my apartment is a laundry room, so I'm free to flush with reckless abandon.
Question 3: "How is 'life sans TV' working out for you?" Excellent question! Actually, the TV was turned on once, but only because the cable dude had to take it out of the box and plug it in when he was installing my cable/internet service. When I called to arrange service, I asked for basic cable (really, I didn't want any cable but you have to get the cable to get the 'net) but the special package for new subscribers was actually cheaper than basic cable. So for the next six months, I have eight bazillion channels that are currently sitting completely idle. That's right, I have HBO and Starz On Demand right at my fingertips, and I haven't turned them on ONCE! And frankly, I feel a little closer to heaven for it, thank you very much.
Time to get back to Lazarus. He's giving me "that look."
Sunday, August 26, 2007
Ordination Exams - Day 3
I'm getting my sea legs under me again and feeling considerably less grumpy than I was at the end of Day 1. The first day of ords we took an exam on theology and another on worship and sacraments (three hours each). I will admit that my otherwise pleasant disposition had gone the way of the dinosaurs by evening. It wasn't that the questions on the exam were unfair or even unexpected, it's just a very exhausting experience to have your feet put to the fire for six solid hours.
Day 2 was much less taxing - three hours of polity. After we completed the polity exam we were given the assigned pericope for the exegetical exam. This year's selection...
John 11:17-44
I was as tickled as a girl can be about taking an exegetical ord! I had been hoping that the gods of the ordination exams would assign the resurrection of Lazarus, and they did! It's easily one of my favorite pericopes from any of the gospels. So even if I flunk the exam, I will have loved writing the paper.
So now I'm busy examining Greek grammatical constructs, imagery and literary forms. For the next five days it will be Lazarus and me, me and Lazarus. We'll be tight and inseparable even though King James keeps insisting that "he stinketh."
Let the games begin!
Day 2 was much less taxing - three hours of polity. After we completed the polity exam we were given the assigned pericope for the exegetical exam. This year's selection...
John 11:17-44
I was as tickled as a girl can be about taking an exegetical ord! I had been hoping that the gods of the ordination exams would assign the resurrection of Lazarus, and they did! It's easily one of my favorite pericopes from any of the gospels. So even if I flunk the exam, I will have loved writing the paper.
So now I'm busy examining Greek grammatical constructs, imagery and literary forms. For the next five days it will be Lazarus and me, me and Lazarus. We'll be tight and inseparable even though King James keeps insisting that "he stinketh."
Let the games begin!
Friday, August 24, 2007
Ordination Exams - Day 1
...something something triune god of grace something something something whisperings of the holy spirit something something waters of baptism something something praying the daily office something sealed for service in the world something something justification something atoning work of the cross something something...
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Bedtime Story
It isn't often that we get Kansas-sized thunderstorms in this part of Iowa, but over the past few days we've had them in spades. And while we do have to contend with unfortunate side-effects like flooding and groundwater contamination, after they've passed they always leave behind some fine, fine sleeping weather.
So last night I threw open all of the windows, made way for a cool breeze, and let the sounds of outdoors flood in through the windows. Except for the bed, the sheets, the pillows, four walls, a ceiling, and an occasional moped, it was just like camping. So much so that as I was climbing into bed I caught myself singing, "Give me land, lots of land, under starry skies above. Don't fence me in." I probably would have kept singing except that it interferred with the chirping of the crickets who are having their swan song (swan chirp?) before they go into hybernation for the winter. As long as they stay outside where they belong, I think crickets really are one of God's better inventions. They have a sleek design and a pleasant pitch, unlike locusts which are unbearably loud and ugly as sin. And crickets don't have a reason in the world to rub their legs together except to lull me to sleep at night. At least that's what I like to think. Humor me.
But mostly I'm glad that God gathers them up after they've been scattered by the thunderstorm and puts them back under my window where they can chirp to their hearts' content. I think that's really nice of Him.
So last night I threw open all of the windows, made way for a cool breeze, and let the sounds of outdoors flood in through the windows. Except for the bed, the sheets, the pillows, four walls, a ceiling, and an occasional moped, it was just like camping. So much so that as I was climbing into bed I caught myself singing, "Give me land, lots of land, under starry skies above. Don't fence me in." I probably would have kept singing except that it interferred with the chirping of the crickets who are having their swan song (swan chirp?) before they go into hybernation for the winter. As long as they stay outside where they belong, I think crickets really are one of God's better inventions. They have a sleek design and a pleasant pitch, unlike locusts which are unbearably loud and ugly as sin. And crickets don't have a reason in the world to rub their legs together except to lull me to sleep at night. At least that's what I like to think. Humor me.
But mostly I'm glad that God gathers them up after they've been scattered by the thunderstorm and puts them back under my window where they can chirp to their hearts' content. I think that's really nice of Him.
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
Ordination Exam Prep
With just one day left to prepare before ordination exams, Dr. Vander Broek's best advice for passing the exegetical ord...
"Answer the question, dammit."
"Answer the question, dammit."
Monday, August 20, 2007
Question From the Peanut Gallery
A few of you have e-mailed to inform me that you know nothing about this apartment of which I speak. THIS, ladies and gentlemen, is the reason for the blog! Never again will you feel like you have an insufficient number of details about the mundane events of my life!
For those of you who aren't "in the know"...
I decided to move into an apartment this semester (and every semester until I graduate. Or the rapture. Whichever comes first.) I made the decision to forgo the seminary townhouse when I realized that for the same amount of money I could buy myself three less roommates. What a bargain!
Anyhoo, the new place is just dandy. Stop by and visit anytime. But if you want to drive across the living room, you have to bring your own moped.
For those of you who aren't "in the know"...
I decided to move into an apartment this semester (and every semester until I graduate. Or the rapture. Whichever comes first.) I made the decision to forgo the seminary townhouse when I realized that for the same amount of money I could buy myself three less roommates. What a bargain!
Anyhoo, the new place is just dandy. Stop by and visit anytime. But if you want to drive across the living room, you have to bring your own moped.
Sunday, August 19, 2007
Royal Flush
I have observed that whenever the people who live in the apartment above me flush the toilet it sounds like they're driving a moped through their living room.
It seems very unnatural somehow. And slightly alarming.
It seems very unnatural somehow. And slightly alarming.
Saturday, August 18, 2007
Greetings from Iowa...
...where today's weather forecast calls for rain and a high temperature of - get this - 62 degrees. Yes, really. It's cold in Iowa. What are the odds?
I cruised into town late Thursday afternoon all set for a very long evening of moving into my apartment. However, when I arrived I discovered that all of my belongings had already been mysteriously moved out of storage and were waiting in my apartment for me! How, you ask? Because I have the BEST friends in the whole WORLD! (A big shout out to Matt and Krista!) Thank God for friends who love you enough to be trusted with your apartment keys.
So I'm getting settled into my apartment and I've consumed the ceremonial "first bratwurst" of the new academic year (grilled by the same best friends who hooked up my crib!). I've started cracking the books and plowing through commentaries in preparation for next week's ordination exams. But my biggest achievement so far: I'm on my third day in Iowa and I still haven't plugged in my TV. I'm gonna see how long I can make that last. Feel free to form grids and place bets, call your bookie to get the "over/under."
Stay tuned...
I cruised into town late Thursday afternoon all set for a very long evening of moving into my apartment. However, when I arrived I discovered that all of my belongings had already been mysteriously moved out of storage and were waiting in my apartment for me! How, you ask? Because I have the BEST friends in the whole WORLD! (A big shout out to Matt and Krista!) Thank God for friends who love you enough to be trusted with your apartment keys.
So I'm getting settled into my apartment and I've consumed the ceremonial "first bratwurst" of the new academic year (grilled by the same best friends who hooked up my crib!). I've started cracking the books and plowing through commentaries in preparation for next week's ordination exams. But my biggest achievement so far: I'm on my third day in Iowa and I still haven't plugged in my TV. I'm gonna see how long I can make that last. Feel free to form grids and place bets, call your bookie to get the "over/under."
Stay tuned...
