Caught Up In Evel

I almost missed church this morning and it was totally Evel Knievel's fault. As I was getting ready for church, I glanced up at the TV (yes, I was watching TV on Sunday morning) and saw that Evel was hanging out with Robert Schuller at the Crystal Cathedral. Who could argue that such an eclectic mix makes for some compelling viewing? So I turned up the volume in time to hear Evel give his personal testimony - turns out he found Jesus a couple of weeks ago - and get baptized by the good Dr. Schuller. It was actually kind of a nice little thing.

BUT THEN...

On the heels of Evel's baptism (that has an interesting ring, no? Evel's baptism?) the junior Schuller invited EVERYBODY in the Crystal Cathedral who wanted to get baptized to come forward for this huge, sweeping, on-the-spot mass baptism. No questions asked, no discussion of personal faith, no counseling, didn't even matter if they had already been baptized previously. I nearly fell out of my chair! But I mustered up all of my most decent Presbyterian sensibilities and pulled myself together.

UNTIL...

After baptizing hundreds (yes, hundreds) of people totally on-the-spot, the junior Schuller decided that the baptisms were enough of a church service for the day, so he didn't need to give a sermon after all. I talked to the TV in my sternest voice giving it my most grave liturgical advice; "No, you can't end the service like this. If you're going to baptize hundreds of people totally anonymously, you at least have to give a sermon. You're a minister of word and sacrament, not just sacrament! For the love of everything holy, GIVE THE SERMON!!" Alas, he simply shed a few weepy tears of joy and ended the service. At that point my head completely popped off my body and rolled around on the floor.

Sundays: not just for armchair quarterbacks.